red carpet arrivals:
--"wow, john mayer showed up dressed as johnny depp's character from 'the tourist'"
--"yes lady gaga, we know you're weird. enough already. jeez, how many times can that woman say the word 'incubation' during 1 interview with ryan seacrest?!"
--"awwww, nicole kidman looks AMAZING!"
the show finally starts:
--"if christina aguilera had a spray tan and dark hair, she could be related to snooki"
--"lady gaga, this early in the night?! *rolls eyes* here we go... why is she... what is that... are those horns on her head?? what is she wearing?? isn't this a madonna song, but with new lyrics? hmmmm. she sure is strange... but damn her body looks good. i probably shouldn't have had thin mints for breakfast this morning."
--"justin bieber is kinda adorable"
--"aw, look how proud will & jada pinkett smith are of their son. how sweet"
--"who the heck is esperanza spalding???"
--"uh oh katy perry, rough start, but the wedding videos are super sweet. hahaha nicole kidman is singing along to 'teenage dream'"
--"this cee-lo green song is so catchy. gwyneth paltrow looks great. i kinda want those feather earrings"
--"we've barely seen any awards given out. this entire show is performances"
--"i wonder what i would say and who i'd thank if i ever won an award...."
--"i like mumford and sons"
--"wow, bob dylan is olddddddddd"
--"huh, didn't know adam levine plays piano. sing it riri *just gonna stand there and watch me burn....*. eminem always seems so angry, but man, he's cool. i wonder if he always walks with his legs that far apart, or if that's just the way he walks during performances. weird. who is this skylar grey chick, she is amazing! looks like dre got a brand new pair of kicks, those are the brightest white shoes i've ever seen"
--"omg, the show is 3 1/2 hours long??? there is still over an hour left?!?!? forget this, i'm going to bed"
congrats to all the winners... and the nominees.